How to Become Grateful No Matter What

I heard this thought-provoking quote by President Dieter F. Uchtdorf a few weeks ago in this beautiful talk about the power of gratitude in any circumstances:

“How much of life do we miss by waiting for the rainbow before thanking God for rain?”

 

When I heard that, I immediately realized that I am a "rain, rain go away" singer, and definitely a rainbow waiter.  Saturday it rained all day.  I was disappointed about staying inside and expected my toddler to be too, but she was thrilled about all the things we could do inside.  She reminded me that when some opportunities are lost, different—and sometimes better—opportunities are received.  Throughout the day, she pointed out the window and cheerfully exclaimed, “Rain! Rain! Rain!”  We looked together at everything coated in water and I marveled at how much bolder the usual colors looked.  There was no arching rainbow like I would have loved to show her, but the spring greens were more vibrant, the purples richer, and the yellows even more brilliant.  And I thanked God for the rain, realizing also how much more vibrant my life is with metaphorical rain.

 

I’m coming to learn that gratitude is action before it is attitude.  These actions are helping me to become grateful no matter what:

 

Eliminate Entitlement

Greed is the opposite of gratitude, and it starts with a sense of entitlement.  There’s a story by Aesop about a goose that laid golden eggs—one egg per day.  The farmer eventually got tired of waiting for the eggs and decided there must be dozens of golden eggs inside the goose, and demanding immediate gratification, he killed the goose.  There were no eggs inside her, and no more would ever be laid.  When we feel entitled to a rainbow, we miss the beauty and practicality of the rain. Eliminate entitlement—all it takes is empathy and humility, which as C.S. Lewis said is “not thinking less of yourself, but thinking of yourself less.”

 

Give to be Grateful

Author Elizabeth Bibesco wrote, “Blessed are they who can give without remembering and take without forgetting.”  Givers are grateful.  Maybe it’s because service helps them to forget their own problems.  Maybe it’s because doing things for others makes them more aware of what is done for them.  Or maybe it’s because giving connects us, helping us to realize how dependent we are on each other.  Give no matter what—all it takes is making someone smile.

Quit Comparing

“Comparison is the thief of joy,” Theodore Roosevelt said.  I’m coming to learn that when we compare ourselves to others, oftentimes we’re comparing ourselves to someone wearing the same jersey.  We’re all on the same team.  That means that when one person succeeds, it doesn’t diminish our success! 

Sometimes when it’s raining, it’s easy to compare our current situation to past or future sunshine.  Those are and will be good times—but dwelling on those leads us to lose focus on our beautiful purpose in the present.  Quit comparing—all it takes is remembering who you really are.

 

See Surprises

See the beautiful surprises God has given you, and consider His joy when he sees your joy. Remember the rainbows you didn’t have to search for. See surprises—all it takes is counting the blessings you’ve been given without even asking for them.

 

Let God be God

This may be the hardest—it requires being still, trusting your unknown future to an all-knowing Heavenly Father, and remembering that no matter how heavy the downpour, the rain is always temporary.

 

And as the rain falls, do everything you can to let the light into your storm—because seeing rainbows takes rain, light, and the right perspective.

What Easter Means to Me Now

I felt down on Wednesday morning and decided to go for a walk in the sunshine in an attempt to cheer myself up.  I loaded my sweet little toddler into the stroller and she began to wave and say hello to everything she saw—dogs and bugs included.  The blossoming trees were fragrant, the tulips and hyacinths were so bright and colorful, the birds were singing, and suddenly I was sobbing.  All I could think about was stepping in front of a car.  Fortunately, I realized that this was not rational thinking.  I kept walking, frightened that if I stopped something terrible would happen. Tears streamed down my face as I called my husband who was nearly an hour away at work.  He immediately sped home, and in the meantime we each desperately called neighbors to come to my rescue.  In a beautiful tender mercy, my friend Emily who is usually at the gym at that time had for some reason decided to stay home and do yard work that day.  She picked me up, took me to her house, and started chatting—distracting me from my awful thoughts.

Long story short, my husband spent the day by my side.  I called my psychiatrist who immediately got me on some Zyprexa which put me into a deep sleep and took the edge off.  I saw him the next day and we realized that the Wellbutrin I’d been on for the last 2 ½ weeks had made things worse—much worse.  We raised my Zoloft dose and added Abilify and for the last four days I’ve felt a million times better.

Asking for help is hard for me—even in such an urgent situation.  I would much rather be the one to give service than to ask for it.  But then I remember something I recently learned in my scripture study.  When Jesus Christ suffered for our sins in Gethsemane, he set a powerful example for us.  He, the only perfect person to walk the earth, sought help—three times—from his friends under His heavy burden.  He was completely capable of shouldering it alone, but He desired companionship and He asked for it. (Matt. 26:38-43)

Today is the one year anniversary of the day I received the diagnosis that will impact my family and me for the rest of my life. This week we also celebrate the anniversary of events nearly 2,000 years ago that impact my family and me forever…

 

I believe that my Redeemer lives, and Easter has a new significance for me now.  Because of Him, I know that despite how utterly limited I feel some days—one day I will be “breathtakingly perfect in body and mind.” 

And in the meantime…

Because of Him, my life has direction and purpose.  He is my example and I find happiness and peace when I try to be like Him by doing good and by taking time to be holy.

Because of Him, my best is enough.  No matter how much I fall short, He makes up the difference—again and again and again.

Because of Him, I can let go and know that everything is going to eventually be okay.

And because of Him, today I went for another walk on a beautiful spring day—my heart brimming with gratitude and hope.