When I was in 5th grade, I competed in the state
spelling bee. You miss a word there and
you remember how to spell it forever—like
the word tendril—which of course, now
seems like the easiest word in the world to spell. However, I felt like I’d
done my best, and I enjoyed an amazing experience wearing the prettiest dress I’d
ever owned.
I’ve always struggled with perfectionism, but fortunately as
I’ve gotten older I’ve realized that it can often prevent progress, and that as
my editor aunt used to say, “done is better than perfect.” But since life with
bipolar, I have really struggled to recognize when I’ve done my best, and when
I could maybe do a little bit more.
It’s probably because “doing my best” is so vastly different
depending on the day. Some days, doing
my best means great gospel study, entertaining a two-year-old, cleaning the entire
house, working out for an hour, making someone’s day, doing yard work, and throwing
together a gourmet dinner.
But some days, doing my best means getting out of bed.
And on those days I try to remember this gem of wisdom from
Elder Russell M. Nelson: “Men are that they might have joy—not guilt trips!”
A quote by Elder Joseph B. Wirthlin also eases my mind: “To
do what I can is all my Heavenly Father now requires of me. And it is all He requires of you…The only
thing you need to worry about is striving to be the best you can be.
And how do you do that? You keep your eye on the goals that matter most
in life, and you move towards them step by step…We don’t have to be fast, we
simply have to be steady.”
I was lucky enough to compete in the state spelling bee again
in 6th grade, but this time the jitters got the best of me and I
missed the word colossal. Not so happy memories. Why? Because I’d wanted to do THE best, not my best—and
in focusing on that, I forgot all about the amazing experience it was to simply
be there.
So it is with life.
We all want to do THE best—but
by focusing on that and everyone else around us, we often miss the amazing
experiences that are ours.
Elder Wirthlin also spoke of John Wooden, who was “perhaps
the greatest college basketball coach in the history of the game. He had four full undefeated seasons. His teams won 10 national championships. At one point, he had a streak of 88 consecutive
wins.
One of the first things Coach Wooden drilled into his
players was something his father had taught him when he was a boy growing up on
a farm. ‘Don’t worry much about trying to be better than someone else,’ his
father said. ‘Learn from others, yes. But don’t just try to be better than they
are. You have no control over that.
Instead try…to be the best that you can be.
That you have control over.’”
And here’s the thing, the
best has already been done by our Savior.
He set the perfect example of doing your best and that included the help
of Heavenly Father, increasing gradually in wisdom, rest and meditation, and
the help of friends.
As long as I’m trying to follow His example, somehow he
fills in the entire gap where I fall short—no matter how big that gap is. That’s
why on the good and not-so-good days—and all the ones in between—my best is enough.
