How to Accept the Unexpected

As I careened off of the icy freeway and through the median a couple of months ago, the following words came into my mind: Turn in to the spin.  Don’t fight it.  Turn in to the spin.  In a “Jesus Take the Wheel” moment my car was totaled, and through divine intervention, my little girl and I walked away without even whiplash.

Accepting the spin—even going towards it instead of away from it—made no sense at the time.  But looking back, it saved us from rolling and it may have saved other unsuspecting drivers on that cold winter night.

Lots of times we feel like all of a sudden due to an unexpected event our lives are spinning out of control—and we want to fight it.  And sometimes that’s the right thing to do.  But sometimes, it’s time to turn in to the spin and accept the unexpected because that’s how we gain back a sense of control.

Being diagnosed with bipolar has definitely been one such event.  Fortunately I’m learning some things that make acceptance easier.

1.       See the opportunity

I love the story about the donkey that fell into an old well.  There was no way to rescue the poor animal, so the farmer and his neighbors began shoveling dirt into the hole in an attempt to cover the well and put the donkey out of its misery.  At first the donkey was mad, and then suddenly he calmed down and let out some happy brays.  A few shovelfuls later, the farmer looked down into the hole and saw that with each shovel of dirt that hit the donkey’s back, the animal was shaking it off and taking a step up.  This continued until the donkey stepped up over the edge of the well and trotted off.

Look for all of the good that can come from your challenge, and take advantage of new opportunities.  Who can you meet that you wouldn’t otherwise?  What can you do that you normally wouldn’t?  What can you focus on that you didn’t before?

2.       Laugh

My husband served an LDS mission in the boonies of Brazil.  He told me he started enjoying it a lot more once he decided to look at his nice Sunday shoes as hiking boots instead.

Look for things that make you laugh.  Watch funny YouTube videos and I Love Lucy reruns, read the comics, scroll through funny Pinterest boards, listen to Brian Regan, start speaking with a silly accent.  I like to google search “bipolar humor” and find little gems like this:

 

3.       Make Me Time

We all need “me time.”  Schedule it if you have to.  Take some time regularly to do something you love…new things that you’ve wanted to try…something that relaxes you.  Learning to have fun again and doing things that enrich and recharge you are powerful ways to cope.

4.       Reach out

Don’t sweep things under the rug.  One of my favorite quotes is from Spencer W. Kimball.  He said, “God does notice us and he watches over us.  But it is usually through another person that he meets our needs.”  Other people can’t meet our needs if they don’t know what they are.  Be open.  Being open about my situation has been scary, but I’ve received so much support from others that I wouldn’t have if I was quieter about it—and that support gives me the strength to serve others.

5.       Serve

Look for ways to give a little extra in what you do for your family and for your friends.  It just feels good. 

Another story I love is about the old man who saw thousands of starfish washed ashore on the beach.  He started throwing them back into the ocean, when another man came and asked him what he was doing and why.  He said, “Don’t you realize there are miles and miles of beach with washed up starfish?  You can’t possibly save them all, and even if you work all day it won’t make a difference.”  The old man listened calmly and then bent down to pick up another starfish and threw it into the sea.

“I made a difference to that one,” he said.

Cheesy and sappy yes… but true.