Being real here for a minute. I just want you to know that
if things have been hard for you lately, you’re not the only one. I’ve thought
about writing several times over the last few months, but each time, I couldn’t
push past the negativity. I even asked my psychiatrist to raise the dose of my
medication because my coping skills weren’t cutting it. So many days, I wish desperately
that I could just choose to be happy. I’ve found though, that I can choose to
be hopeful.
Recently, I’ve been watching a quote float around on
Facebook lately that basically says we need to build a life that we don’t have
to escape from. And every time I see it, I feel a sense of betrayal like I don’t
have what it takes to change my life.
I was changing my one-year-old daughter’s diaper this morning while she bawled a million tears. She didn’t want her diaper changed. She
wanted her bottle.
I tried to tell her that a fresh diaper would allow her to
more fully enjoy her bottle when it was time. The time during which she wasn’t
getting what she wanted was a time of preparation. That experience and its
sacred parallels opened my heart to be more patient with my own circumstances.
But my point is that I think a lot of us feel like we’re
figuratively getting our diaper changed. And it’s not fun! We know what we
want, and this is not it! Sure, we’d love to have a life we don’t have to
escape from, but there is no way we can currently achieve that.
So in the meantime, we need to find escapes to enjoy life
during stinky situations (pun completely intended).
Here are seven inexpensive ways I’ve learned to do
that...until I can escape to Hawaii—which sounds really appealing right now as
I look out the window at twelve inches and counting of white powder.
1. Build relationships
The thing about stinky situations is they suck our energy.
When this happens, I intentionally surround myself with people who rejuvenate
me. If you’re feeling introverted, discover how to build relationships in ways
that don’t drain you. Say something nice to a stranger. Try texting, calling,
or Facetiming. Heck, write a letter. Be the person who invites others to join
you. I’ve learned that there are lots of people wanting to get together, but
not many wanting to plan something to do. Take one for the team and plan a
night to the movies. Speaking of movies…
2. Find a favorite show
Entertainment is one of the biggest keys you can use to
escape. In addition to movies, look for shows you can binge watch. Hey, binge
watching is only a not-so-good idea when you really, truly should be doing
other things. And if that laundry really, truly can’t wait, break up the
monotony of matching socks with a couple of episodes of I Love Lucy. Oh,
it will take you more than a couple of episodes to get that laundry done? Me
too.
3. Read
They say reading is the easiest way to see the world, and I
love the way learning positive new things naturally lifts my spirit. My parents
instilled a love of reading into my soul. Before the world of Kindle and
Audible, they took my brothers and me to the library weekly. And not just our
local library. For years and years, they paid an out-of-towner fee and drove an
hour and a half round-trip for access to one of the largest libraries in the
state. These days, during my weekly Friday FaceTime ritual with my dad, I love
to hear about the half-dozen books he’s tackling at once.
4. Listen to music
It's easy to match your mood with music. It's also easy to
change your mood with music. That's one of the things I love about music is
that even if I can't escape the mundane or tedious, I can escape the drudgery
of it all with the right songs. Sometimes they're instrumental, and sometimes
they're power ballads. And sometimes they're playful showtunes. Snow White,
Giselle from Enchanted, Mary Poppins,
Cinderella, and other Disney ladies know what they're talking, er, singing
about when they break into song all the time while cleaning.
5. Listen to podcasts
When I was young, I always wondered what the deal was with
talk shows like Oprah. Now, as someone with limited adult interaction, I
totally get the hype. Podcasts are like the Oprah you can take with you
anywhere. When I'm listening to a podcast, it helps me feel like I'm not so
stuck in the same old same old. It’s amazing how much a little learning can
help me feel like I’m actually going somewhere in life.
6. Have a short-term thing to look forward to
This one is critical. We absolutely always need things to look forward to like
dessert, listening to a new album, taking a bubble bath, or going for a walk.
Whether our goal is to have that something be daily or weekly, looking forward
to something in the near future helps us realize that our current situations
and feelings are not permanent. And when those things aren't permanent, it's
easier to persevere.
7. Have a long-term thing to look forward to
For the same reasons, by looking to the long-term, we realize
so much can change. Choose things to help you hope like planning a party, the
4th of July, a road trip, a meet up with friends or family, or accomplishing a
goal. It can be counting down the days to that new chick flick. Heck, plan that
trip to Hawaii so that when the opportunity arises, you’ll be ready! #HopingforHawaii.
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