Shoulds

“You should probably open that tonight,” he said as he stood on my front porch handing me a large sealed can labeled “Flour” after one of not quite a dozen dates. It was from the service project we’d participated in that night—preparing flour for food storage at the local church cannery. Since it was prepared to be stored, I didn’t anticipate it going bad any time soon, but it seemed a little suspicious. What, did he expect me make him cookies?

I’d been getting bored, and honestly thought this was probably the last date with him because his personality just seemed too serious, but I did open that can later that night. Inside the can, where I should have seen white powder was a single stargazer lily in a small green vase.

I love a good pun.

It was enough to keep me interested to the present day.

Should. There’s no other word that inspires more achievement. After all, should is the word that leads to goal setting—I should exercise more. “Should” produces movements—we should take care of the homeless.

Yet at the same time, there’s no other word that creates more aching. For example, some people think:

My husband should be more like hers.

We should have more money.

I should be there right now.

My child should be normal.

We surround ourselves with shoulds day in and day out, both positive and negative.

I suppose it’s all because of expectations, and I learned something about those that night with the stargazer lily.

I expected flour to be in the can because it was clearly labeled “Flour”. I thought maybe he expected me to make him cookies, when all he expected was a smile and hopefully another date.

If things had been as they should have been, with flour in the can clearly labeled “Flour”. . . we would have missed out on thirteen years plus forever of growing together to be better people.

I guess what I’m saying is that when you let go of some shoulds, some pretty awesome things can happen.