The Bi-Polar Post

I've entitled this post as such because it simply contains ups and downs.  So if you don't like what you're reading, skip ahead a few lines.  : ) My experience with bi-polar reminds me of a line from one of my favorite movies, Little Women: "Change comes as surely as the seasons, and twice as quick.  We make our peace with it as best we can."

My Diagnosis

I have Bipolar Disorder (manic-depressive).  I'm still learning about it myself, but basically it means that I Am Still Caitlin and that I experience extreme happiness (manic) and extreme sadness (depressive).

My Story

In July 2012, Abbey, our infertility miracle arrived.  After the three year struggle to create her, severe gestational diabetes (complete with a strict diet and insulin shots), and a mysterious two-month migraine, my quick and natural labor was bliss and we REJOICED! 

Within about a week, I developed severe anxiety--particularly with the onset of dusk or poor weather. Then I began seeing and hearing things at night--like a homeless man sleeping on our couch, a wolf in the hallway, and a train crossing right outside our bedroom window.  One night I remember being so hungry but unable to eat anything.  I was convinced an apple was poisoned, cereal was contaminated, and I would choke on popcorn.  I realized all of these things were very ridiculous, but they were also very real to me.  I went in to my OB and of course we agreed it was postpartum depression-- "with a psychotic flair," he added.  Lucky me.